Self-Worth: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Human Doings?

While there are some people who have moments in their life when they take action and moments when they relax, there are others who are practically always doing something. As a result of this, it is going to mean that these people don’t experience life in the same way.

One Outcome

When someone can relate to the former, they can be more successful than someone who can relate to the latter. This comes down to the fact that they will put in more work, and so they will have achieved more.

What this can then do is cause them to receive more approval than the other person; with them being seen as someone who has ‘made it’. At the same time, there is the chance that it is not this black and white.

Another Dynamic

Even if someone is always doing something, it doesn’t mean that they will be in a position where they have achieved a lot. And even if someone does take the time to relax, it doesn’t mean that they won’t have achieved very much.

There are likely to be plenty of people who work extremely hard and have very little to show for it. In the same way, there are bound to be people who dont seem to do very much and end up with more or less everything they need.

Illogical

It can be hard to understand why this is the case; especially if someone has worked so hard or if they have done very little. One way of looking at this would be to say that some people are lucky, or more fortunate than others.

If someone works hard, it should be normal for them to do well in life; whereas as if they don’t, they shouldn’t do very well. This is what is typically taught in schools and colleges, for instance.

One Experience

When someone spends most of their life working and they don’t get very far, they could feel as though the world is against them. That for one reason or another, there is something out there that is holding them back.

Through having this outlook, they could resent the people who are able to achieve things without having to work too hard. This is then likely to stop them from taking the time to look into why these people experience life differently.

Another Experience

When someone doesn’t spend most of their life working and they are able to move forward, they could believe that the world is on their side. In this case, it can be as if something out there wants them to do well.

Through being this way, they might find it hard to understand why some people work so hard. But even if they were to talk to someone like this, they may find that they don’t want to listen to what they have to say.

Two Outlooks

When someone works all the time, it could be said that they live to work; yet when someone doesn’t, it could be said that they work to live. One person is extremely driven and, while the other has drive, they are able to take a step back from time to time.

What is also likely to be different here is how each person sees themselves; with one person feeling worthless and the other being in touch with their value. This is then going to play a big part in why they don’t behave in the same way.

A Human Doing

If someone doesn’t value themselves, they can try to change how they feel by taking action and achieving things. As unless they are doing something, they will have to face how they feel.

Therefore, everything they do will be a means to an end, as opposed to an end per se. But as what they achieve is unlikely to change how they feel at a deeper level, it won’t be possible for them to take a step back.

Fleeting

When they do achieve something, they can feel good about themselves, but this is not going to last for very long. Their value is then not defined by who they are; it is defined by what they do.

So if they were to take a step back and to relax, they would probably end up feeling bad about themselves. Having to work all the tine will be tiring, but at least it will allow them to control how they feel.

A Human Being

On the other hand, when someone does value themselves, they won’t have the need to run away from what is taking place within them. This will allow them to just be, and they won’t feel the need to do anything.

When they do something, it won’t be because they are trying to increase their value. What this will then do is give them the opportunity to express themselves without getting too caught up in what they are doing.

A Big Difference

Their value is then not defined by what they do; it is defined by who they are. And through being this way, they will believe that they deserve to have their needs met.

When someone believes that their value is based on what they do, there is a strong chance that they don’t believe that they deserve to have their needs met. So even though they are working so hard, it is going to be a challenge for them to receive.

A Deeper Look

If someone experiences life in this way, it can be the result of what took place when they were younger. This could have been a time when their caregivers were unable to love them unconditionally.

Whether they were approved of or not would have depended on if they met their caregiver’s needs, and even if they were approved off, it would have been for the role they were playing. If they did what they wanted, they might have received positive feedback; but if they didn’t jump through the right hoops, they might have been rejected and/or abandoned, or even harmed.

Awareness

If one can relate to this and they want to change their circumstances, they might need to work with a therapist. This will give them the chance to look through what is taking place within them and to gradually get in touch with their inherent value.

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include ‘A Dialogue With The Heart’ and ‘Communication Made Easy’.

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Self-Worth: Does Someone Need To Develop Self-Worth If They Feel Worthless?

When it comes to how someone behaves, there are a number of things that can play a part. And one thing that will have a big effect on how they behave is how they feel about themselves.

Three Options

There are going to be people who generally feel good, others who don’t, and those who swing from one side to the other. As a result of this, they can all have a different experience on this earth.

When one generally feels good about themselves, there is going to be no reason for them to tolerate bad behaviour. If someone was to treat them badly, they could soon up feeling uncomfortable.

Drawing the Line

During this time, they could let the other person know that their behaviour is not acceptable, or they could end up walking away from them. How they respond can all depend on who the other person is.

If they were at work, for instance, it might be necessary for them to stand their ground at to make sure this person doesn’t behave in this way again. Yet, if they were on a date with someone who behaved in this way, it might be a good idea for them to move on.

Relationships

And when it comes to the people who they spend time with, these are likely to be people who respect and value them. There will then be no reason for one to put on an act and to be someone else.

As one values and respects themselves, there is a strong chance that the people they spend time with are the same. It is then not that one just happens to have people like this in their life; it is that these people are a reflection of what is going on for them.

Career

Along with this, there will be what is taking place in their career, and one might have been able to elevate themselves to a certain position. But if they are not seen as someone who is extremely successful, it could mean that they are doing something that is fulfilling.

Or, one might have gone back to college/university to get the qualifications they need to embark on a new stage of their life. What they did before might not have been in aligned with their needs; it was then time for them to do something else.

Eating Right

And as one values themselves, they will also want to make sure that they eat food that is good for them. This is not to say that they will be obsessed with this area of their life, but they won’t overlook it either.

What they put into their body could also be supported by what they do with their body. One might go to the gym a few times a week, or they might enjoy going running or cycling, for instance.

A Door Mat

On the other hand, if one doesn’t value themselves, they can have the tendency to tolerate bad behaviour. So instead of feeling the need to speak up if someone walks over them, they could stay silent.

Part of them might feel uncomfortable when this happens, but another part of them won’t. The part of them that feels comfortable with this kind of behaviour will be the strongest, and this is why it is taking place.

Just the Same

And when it comes to the people in their life, they could be used to being treated in the same way. These people could be self-centred and expect one to meet their needs, but they might not be willing to return the favour.

Therefore, their relationships will be one-sided, and one will give far more than they receive. In addition to this, there is the chance that they have been in a number of abusive relationships, and they might even be in one now.

On The Wrong Track

If they have a career that is fulfilling, it might not be possible for them to get very far, or to accept how well they are doing. When it comes to the former, one might not believe they deserve to go further.

Yet if they are unable to realise how well they are doing, it will show that how they feel about themselves clouds their ability to see clearly. Alternatively, one could spend most of their time in a job that is not very fulfilling.

Self-Neglect

This area of their life is then going to cause them to experience a lot of pain, but they might believe that this is just how life is. And when it comes to what they eat, they might not be any better off.

They might eat a lot of food each day that is not good for them, and they might have the habit of eating too much or too little. As for exercise, this could be an area of their life that doesn’t get the attention it requires.

The Usual Approach

If someone was to experience life in this way and, they were to look into what they could do about it, they might be told that they need to develop their self-worth. This can then be a time when it will be about adding things, as opposed to taking things away.

Now, after doing a number of things to develop their self-worth, one might find that they begin to feel better about themselves. At the same time, this might not lead to their desired outcome.

A Closer Look

However, if one feels worthless and they are told to change how they feel through adding things, it’s as if they are not enough as they are. So instead of looking into why they feel this way to begin with, they are reacting to what is taking place within them.

It is then similar to telling someone who doesn’t feel good about themselves to go out and achieve things; as through doing this, it will allow them to change how they feel. One is then being told that their value is based on what they do and not on who they are.

Awareness

And if one’s value is based on who they are and not on what they do, there is going to be no need for them to do anything. There are clearly things that one can do to change how they feel, but it will also be important for them to let go of what is stopping them from realising their inherent value.

When it comes to what is in the way, it can relate to what took place when they were younger. Through working with a therapist or a healer, one can let go of what doesn’t belong to them, and this can allow them to embrace their inherent value.

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include ‘A Dialogue With The Heart’ and ‘Communication Made Easy’.

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How to Get Over Your Fear of the Unknown

Do you constantly fear what is about to come in your future? Do you fear the unknown? Do you procrastinate as a result of that? Fear not – this article is going to make you overcome your fear of the unknown.

First of all, you don’t have to worry as you venture into the unknown. You can take tiny steps every day towards your goals. They don’t have to be big ones. Start small and slow.

As you leave your comfort zone out into the unknown territory, tell yourself: I can figure it out as I get along. I don’t have to know everything. Repeat this statement several times every day until you completely believe it. Life gets easier and you are more aware and alert.

You overcome your fear of the unknown by overcoming the supreme fear of your life, which is fear of death. If you can overcome this fear, you will never be scared of anything.

So how do you overcome your fear of death? By doing bold deeds and confronting upright whatever comes your way without hesitating or procrastinating. Be in Do-Die missions and come out as a winner many times. Of course, you will die some of the times as well. You will know what it is like to die and then bounce back to life.

That brings confidence into the equation. Yes, you need to develop confidence. You need to believe in yourself and experiment by trial and error. When you know how something which you are interested in works, everything fall into place. It is your passion and drive. It can at first be a part-time job but eventually you make it full-time.

You need to ask yourself constantly: Does it meet the requirements of today? Is there an easier way to do it? Do I have the right skills? How can I improve my skills? Is it helping me? Is it helping others?

Once you have exercised the questions and found the answers and taken the required actions accordingly, who can stop you? Your fear of the unknown territory vanishes because now you know a lot in your niche.

That is not the end however. Because to keep up with the modern day, you need to be constantly up-to-date, research on the web and ultimately learn, grow and take further actions. That is how you stand out from others and your fears, if any, disappear in a blink.

Before you know it, people are talking about you and your products and purchasing them in bulks and you know then, you have made a name for yourself. How much better could life get?

Rosina S Khan has authored this article, highlighting how you can take actions in order to overcome your fear of the unknown.

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Repentance Begins By Carrying The Cross

How often have we grieved God by our long continual in sin? How often have we grieved one another, by our selfishness and self-centeredness? It is an offence when we act against our morals and commit crimes of hatred, immorality and terrorism against people we intend to offend. If we had a grudge against someone, why not try to do a self-check in all Ernest–to root out the cause? It takes two hands to clap, right? So, the theory that “I am right and you are wrong” does not always apply.

Repentance Begins By Carrying The Cross, but not many will realize this. We cannot repent if we had no contrition nor remorse, for our misdeeds and offences. Contrition is not mere words of saying “I am sorry.” Rather, it is more of actions! Words must be accompanied by feelings of remorse and admission of guilt. In addition, we repent by making amends to compensate for an injury or insults and even loss of life or property. Lord Jesus carried the cross for us in atonement for our sins although He was sinless and there was no perjury in Him. Hence, why can we not carry our own cross in atonement? It is vital to know and understand, that the cross we take up is unique to our journey in life.

By virtue of the cross we carry, we come across the heavy burden of discomfort and sufferings, whether physical or emotional–due to health, misfortune and loss of loved ones, either by death or separation. We look up to Christ Jesus, in the face of adversity when we have to carry our cross. Did Jesus curse or swear, when carrying the cross on the way to Calvary, with all the scourging, kicks and blows, insults, humiliation and torments? No! Not even when He fell three times on His knees and was brutally forced to rise, when He could hardly walk but staggered on… still carrying the cross! Likewise, when we encounter hardship, failures, disappointments and misfortune on our journey to repentance, let us take courage in Jesus and not give up easily… taking the easy way out.

Why do we carry the cross? For reasons known or unknown to us, we take into consideration–the benefits of the cross.

By the way of the cross, we learn lessons of humility and forgiveness–both from God and those whom we have offended.
God gives us grace, mercy, strength and pardon when we carry our cross.
The Lord gives us hope, faith, healing and redemption, by means of the cross.
In contrast to what others think, the cross is not a condemnation nor failure. In truth, it is a Victory over Evil.
Through the cross, Christ willingly suffered and died in Crucifixion, to purchase for us our freedom and salvation.
When we lift up our cross to God in loving surrender, we gain our Passport to Heaven.
Even those whom we have wronged or offended will eventually pardon us when we sincerely repent and carry the cross, as a retribution.
To those who fear the cross and unwilling to carry it, they will encounter retribution if not in this world, then in the next. The Universe has its own laws and compliance with standards in which we abide. Failure to comply will result in disharmony, disunity, conflicts and punishment.
It is not too late to say Sorry and in all sincerity, mean it. It is even better to Repent and carry the Cross, along the way. To those of you carrying the cross for Repentance, may salutation and respect be accorded to you!

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Are You Willing to Do What It Takes?

What a beautiful week! I had the privilege of taking my sacred circle members to do aerial yoga for our quarterly off-site event! It was such a meaningful experience and I still can’t believe all of the parallels with being a business owner! Like letting go and taking one step at a time, that you can put your hands down and touch the ground at any time and be grounded again, the courage in community – where you can look over and see someone else doing it and gain the courage you need yourself to do the same, and the BIG one – that you’re safe when you let go AND can even enjoy it! Here is a picture of us doing chandelier pose, which is a lot like dancer in yoga except upside down. How cool right?! I also discovered doing something that physically gets you out of your comfort zone is huge for doing the same in business.

Yesterday I enjoyed at day at the spa with girlfriends at La Costa here in San Diego. Most of you will know it as Deepak Chopra’s center. His center is there along with a fabulous hotel and spa. This is one of my favourite spots to rejuvenate, as you can use the entire spa facility for the day after your treatment. It has a beautiful pool, waterfall shower, steam, sauna and hot tub. It’s a little piece of heaven and I highly suggest you treat yourself to something similar soon! Treating yourself helps to raise your vibration. You are deserving of goodness! In the evening I attended a profound movie screening in Hollywood with another dear friend – I love that my first screening is for a documentary. An impactful look into the alarming statistic of how many homeless kids there are in LA and what we can do about it. More to come on this later.

Today I want to ask you a tough question – are you willing to do what it takes to have the success you’re wanting in your business? AND what the heck does that even mean anyway? Read on for more on this and how to align yourself with what you’re really wanting.

So… are you willing to do what it takes to grow your business to the level you’re wanting?

I remember a past mentor asking me this over and over again. That voice is still engrained in my head. Are you willing to do what it takes? This was a great question because it made me stop and think. Well, who are we kidding, I didn’t need to stop and think about this… I was a wholehearted yes right away!! It did help me define what this meant though.

The thing is, what this meant to me at that time and what it means to me now have changed significantly. At first it meant hustle and only hustle. Do whatever it takes to make things work. Put in a ton of time and make the business the priority always. Never stop. It didn’t matter if I was tired, burned out, and if relationships were unraveling around me, the focus must me the business. AND for goodness sake, do not EVER and I repeat EVER use your kids as an excuse for stopping.

Noted, and executed.

Well, what kind of existence is that? It sounds exhausting right? Well it was. I realized a couple of years ago, that all I was doing was eating, breathing and sleeping my business. I took the question to heart, as I can be pretty black and white sometimes.

It dawned on me that I didn’t really have my priorities straight. I did get married and have kids for a reason, right?! I was so focuses on being of service in my business, that I missed it at home. This led to a complete reassessment, some rebellious behaviour In terms of the coaching industry and a BREAK from it all. I continued to work with the clients I had and kept it low key from there. I focused on giving and receiving love at home and all around me. It was heavenly.

I studied the course in miracles intently and had some massive shifts around the ego and our true selves. I discovered what true inner peace is.

SO… that’s all great, but how does this look in business today?

Well, whenever I get in this “do what it takes” mode I can see it’s coming from fear and ego. When I approach my clients from this place it doesn’t work. It’s too harsh.

What does work is this:

*aligning myself with the best version of me and making decisions from this place (this is where self-care comes in)

*exercising a strong faith muscle where I believe and know FULLY that the universe (for me it’s God, the holy spirit and some pretty rad arc angels) is always showing me more and more people to help and how to be of service AND that I’m never, ever alone

*financial goals are secondary to being of service

*creating a life I love with the people I love, in a way that works for me

*having the support in pace in both my business and personal life so that I can be the person I need to be

*persevering and not taking no (in terms of my vision) for an answer and knowing without a doubt there is ALWAYS a way to make things happen

*AND last but not least, HUSTLE! This is where the “willingness to do what it takes” comes into effect in an empowered way! We must be willing to do what we need to do in order to bring all of the wonderful opportunities we are creating into the physical form (to fruition). It will not happen without inspired action. The shift in perspective I’ve had around this though is just this. It is inspired action. It doesn’t feel like work because I’m coming from a place of trust and love first, and not fear. It’s exciting to bring opportunities to fruition and see them though. It involves “hustle” as I call it, as you have to keep taking action until it’s complete. You have to pick up the phone repeatedly, meet with people, etc. and do whatever else is required. You essentially need to BE who you need to be in order to bring the opportunities to fruition. That means stepping out of your comfort zone, and doing things differently and being WILLING to do this. The willingness really means being willing to move through uncomfortable feelings so that you can be in alignment with what you’re really wanting.

The biggest difference is that when you’re in the place I outlined above, you are not coming from fear. It’s not a struggle. The way I approached this before was coming from fear. Afraid I wasn’t spending enough time and really deep down if I’m being honest, that it wasn’t going to actually happen. The irony though is that even though I was putting so much into it before and “willing’ to do whatever it took, it started happening on a much deeper level once I shifted to this new perspective. Where opportunities to serve manifest without struggle, and hustle serves an inspired purpose of bringing them to fruition.

This is where the magic happens xo

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How to Create Perfection Out of Your Imperfections

I remember when my Dad wanted us to change schools that would prepare us well for O-levels under the University of London. So what were the imperfections I had to perfect? How would this article help anybody to do that? Read on to find out.

I was in grade 9 and wanted to be admitted into that very grade in a good standard English medium school.

Dad figured out locating a good English medium school. We had to give admission tests before we got admitted. When that day arrived, my sisters and I were stuck in a big traffic jam so that Dad couldn’t proceed on the way in our car.

We were already twenty minutes late when we arrived at the desired location.

Now this school really emphasized on English. After we were given the question papers, my sister who was trying to get into grade 8 chose an essay on “Your Favorite Book” while I chose the topic, “Books and Reading”.

The big blow came in at the end of the test while we were waiting for the results. My sister and I were both given chits of paper that read grade 8. I was a bit confused. But I soon realized that I didn’t make it into grade 9.

According to the teachers there, my essay did not have flow and coherence as my sister’s did.

I got so bogged down that I cried all the way back and for the rest of the day into the night. I wept into the night falling asleep.

Seeing my condition, my father decided to admit us to another school where we wouldn’t require admission tests and I promptly got into grade 9.

I struggled with the English course all along. Sometimes the essays I wrote were good and sometimes not so good. This way I ended up with a “C” in the English course in my O-levels. On the other hand, my sister got a prompt “A” when she appeared in her O-levels.

So you see I was imperfect in the English language. When I went to the university, I worked really hard and tried to find every possible way to excel in the English language. And I made it. I got an “A”.

Then as the years went by, I had to write CV’s, Statement of Purpose and other documents that required skills in English when I applied abroad. I also had to appear in TOEFL in which I excelled.

Fast forward to the present, I can write effortlessly in English now. It takes me only several minutes to write articles or plot a story or write the skeleton of a self-help eBook on a topic that speaks to me.

The child in me that wept in those early years because of her imperfection in the English language has finally won. She is happy with the progress and milestones she has covered.

This way with the required effort, perseverance and determination any person can master perfection out of their imperfections. I am a living example of that. So when I say it is possible, I mean it really is.

Rosina S Khan has authored this article, highlighting how it is possible to perfect your imperfections and benefit from it.

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